After a late wake up and a long day at work, I am crashing. I caught a pretty nasty flu that knocked me out and I realized, if I was at home, I’d be worried about everyone catching it but I’d still be there with company. Being alone when you’re sick is another story and one that made me realize, I don’t do well mentally when my physical body is restricting me but also that I need people and movement around at all times.
The windowless basement had been great to this point as it minimized distractions but today I am desperate to see life walk by.
Of course my guy, who’s respectfully tried to leave me alone, had to do something for me. It meant so much in the moment. My body just wants to collapse into his arms where I have found safety and comfort for 27 years but we are both working really hard to allow the other independent space.
This just got real sad and dark for me and my inner head is spiraling with all the stories of , “what’s the point” and “you’ve made a big mistake” etc
I said I’d share it all.